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Hey, Mars. Brenda. Hi.
Thank you for being here.
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It really means a lot.
Thank you for having me.
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Thank you for inviting me.
I love to be. I love to be invited.
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So thank you. Oh, my gosh.
I feel a little, like, almost guilty.
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Not really, but a little guilty
because I was sort of like,
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I kind of just want to hang out
with Mars for an hour. So. Yeah.
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And I'm kind of like,
let's just hang out.
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Like, I really would love to just
hang out with Brenda because
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that's fun. Well, thank you.
Thank you for being here.
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Yeah, here we are. Here we are.
So I met you probably in August of
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2023 maybe. No. Had to be 2022.
Yeah. Yeah. And what a journey.
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What a journey. Holy. Yeah.
Let's like let's just let that
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land for a moment. Yeah.
Year of 2022. It feels like.
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So I think of life in like this
linear lifeline.
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But then I have these pivotal events
that are like page turners for me.
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And so it's like the before and the
after, those page turner moments and
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meeting you, working with you is one
of those page Turner moments for me.
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I love that you name like the linear.
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I usually have a step right here
to put my foot on, and I didn't.
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I love that you name the linear
with the page turner moments,
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and that really lands for me.
And what I love to refer to them
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as is,
they're like the pivotal moments.
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They're the moments that just like,
oh, like there's something that lands
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in such a powerful and potent way
that then shifts the trajectory of,
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of like where life gets to go.
Yeah, absolutely.
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That that resonates with me. Yeah.
So for people that don't yet know
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you, can you tell us a little
bit about yourself and the work
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that you do in the world, this is a loaded question.
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Who is Mars, you know.
Brenda, one of the favorite things
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that I love to share is that.
I really have landed in the space
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of there's a human part of me that
that knows that like labels exist.
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And yet for myself,
a label in like my humanness
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doesn't feel like it fits at all, and I know that it's there.
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So for myself, I am a, I'm a leader
and I'm a, I'm a self led leader
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who then supports others in like,
really deepening into their
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leadership and the impact that they
get to make in the world and the
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light that they get to bring the
medicine, the magic that is them.
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I'm an Akashic Record reader,
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I'm a breathwork facilitator,
and I also I'm a mom and I'm a
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daughter and I'm a friend.
So like all all of those things
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combined and the majority of my work
that I do now, I do right within
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pose breath work. It's so juicy.
I love that you name like,
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there's these human labels that
we put on ourselves,
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and we sometimes try and fit into the
identity of the label, and it can
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be really confining. Yeah, yeah.
Thank you for making that. Yeah.
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That was something that I really
learnt about myself back in 2012.
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I went on a very powerful,
journey through,
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like a healing journey through
actually getting sick.
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And that was again like one of
those we talked about earlier,
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Brenda, like the pivotal moments.
That was a pivotal moment for me.
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And in that moment,
there was like a week of my life
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that I first looked at.
I was like, wow,
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I lost a whole week of my life and
actually it was the greatest gift.
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Because within that week I
received a coming home to me.
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And when I came home to myself,
there weren't labels,
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there wasn't attachment, and of course, over the period of
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like how many years ago that was,
it's part of the humanness within
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each of us that that we do carry
a certain level of attachment.
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We do hold certain levels of,
of identity and, and labels.
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So it's but it's always like coming
back to and remembering that each
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of us are just divine essence. Yes. That lands for me.
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In fact I don't think we've ever
talked about this, but I had a
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similar experience in 2019 where
I had a life threatening illness
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that came on really suddenly.
And as I was recovering in the
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hospital, I was like, I will not
ever look at anything the same,
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including the labels that got me
there, because I was like a hustler.
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Achiever like, yes,
workaholic isn't glamorous enough
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for what I thought it was like.
I was performing with groups and
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leading opera choruses and and
all the things.
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And then I'm in the hospital by
myself.
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Somebody taking care of the
auditions, right?
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And the the knowing that the identity
that I had hinged my very existence
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on could be replaced in a matter
of hours, was ground shaking.
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Wow, Brenda, thank you for sharing
that with me. Yeah you're right.
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We have never talked about we have
never talked about this before. And.
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One thing that I love to remind
myself of is that yes,
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the labels come and go.
The attachments are always,
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ever shifting, ever shaking,
ever evolving.
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And what's the legacy that I get
to leave, not even leave behind.
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But like, what is the legacy that
I get to embody for myself every
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day so that I just have this like
knowing that I showed up.
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And when you say I showed up you
mean like the essence. Yeah.
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The, the essence of you.
Not just that you are checking a box.
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Exactly, exactly. Yeah.
It's like, it's like my whole
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beingness gets to show up.
Gets to show up I remember.
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I remember vividly early during
that period of that week that we
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had spoke about earlier.
I remember having a conversation
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with my grandpa who had passed,
who was on the other side,
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and I stood my ground and I was like,
no, I do not need to go back down to
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like that physicalness of my body,
like I do not need to do that.
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And I'm like, you do.
And I'm like,
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I don't need like you do.
And in that moment, there was this
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this really powerful visual. Oh. Okay. Yeah. This is emotional.
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of. This beautiful elevator.
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I use the word elevator because
it's like a human word for what
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the visual is.
And this elevator was like this
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beautiful opportunity to be able
to go to the spaces and places
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of source that I needed to go,
that I get to go to and come
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back down because my life's work
is actually in the human form.
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00:08:41,050 --> 00:08:46,000, and in that moment, I was like,
whoa, I can surrender to this.
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I get to be human.
And I had thought being human and
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had a lot of resistance to it,
looking back like.
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In very early childhood,
like some of my earliest memories are
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memories of like there was so much
more out there that that was like,
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that's what felt like home for me.
Oh, same. Same. Yeah.
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I didn't I wouldn't have named it
that way as a kid, but I knew that I
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didn't belong in a body like that.
Just felt like weird and like,
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what is this body like?
I don't even know how to control it.
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Like it does. All these. Things.
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my gosh.
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Thank you for sharing that. Yeah.
One of the things I was having a
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conversation with about somebody
today was she was interviewing me
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for her podcast, and she was asking
questions about being intuitive,
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contacting the other side,
being empathic.
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And she was asking, was it lonely?
And and I leaned into that just for a
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minute and I thought, yeah, you know,
in early life it was lonely for me
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because I didn't know that there
were other people like me out there.
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I just thought it was something that
just. I had. Did you feel that way?
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No. I love that you did, though.
I love that you did.
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Like I love that, I love that that's
something that was there for you.
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part of your experience. My. There.
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This is like there's duality in
this for me.
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There were parts of my human that
felt lonely, but I never felt alone.
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And the reason that I didn't feel
alone is because I was so connected,
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so attuned to so in different
dimensions and,
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and intergalactic places and spaces
and earth places that I was,
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I never there was never an aloneness. I love that you name that.
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And so then it makes me think I can
remember like being in my bedroom by
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myself, not feeling lonely. Yes.
When I was around other people. Yes.
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That tracks, that tracks,
that tracks.
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And Brenda I'm curious how this
resonates for you, but for me it
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was it's a, it's a sensation of.
Misunderstood. Like a like.
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Like feeling misunderstood.
Okay, I literally go to speak
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and people would be like, what?
Oh yeah, that track that resonates.
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And what's so great now is that like.
Like human consciousness,
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human evolution.
We've come so far in that these
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conversations are becoming more
and more normal, quote unquote.
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be validated now.
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Whereas like for me, having my
experience validated 40 years ago
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just wasn't it just wasn't in my,
in my, upbringing.
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It just wasn't. Normal. Same. Same.
In fact, some of the stuff was
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scary to the adults around.
Yes yes yes yes.
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And you know what's really
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interesting now that we're actually
like on this topic and like the,
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the scary piece or whatever is that when I first started
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not even when I first started I
guess when I really started to
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dig like deep into,
my spiritual growth as a human, I.
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Remember doing so much work with like
dark energies and dark frequencies,
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because I was so curious and it
had been so taboo when I was a kid
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to really go into those spaces.
So of course I was like this adult
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and being in my own spiritual
evolution and growth, that was what
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was the most intriguing to me.
That's where I learned the most
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about myself, just about like humanity,
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about consciousness.
Like that, to me,
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was just the most amazing experience. Yeah, that resonates for me.
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I remember, like, it would have
been late teens, early 20s,
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and I was fascinated by the dark,
scary spaces where people,
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you know, could feel things.
I wanted to go down there and
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see what I could feel and what I
could sense, what I could see.
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And I think a lot of my skill now
in keeping spaces really squeaky
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clean comes back to the learning
that happened when I didn't have
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the discernment to know what was
actually in my best interest. Right?
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Yes. Yes. And. At the same time.
Those were like really some of the
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most powerful moments of my life.
Solutely. Yeah.
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The recognition that there's more
out there and it it was like
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almost easier proof. Yeah yeah.
Yeah. It it's supported me in.
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Helping make sense of the nonsense. Yeah. Yeah. That.
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That resonates for me too.
So when in your journey did you
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become an Akashic Records reader?
Was that something that you were
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naturally doing? Yeah. It was.
I didn't realize that that's what
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I was doing, like I had I had no
idea that that's what I was doing.
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in like between 2006 and 2008.
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Somewhere in there is where I was
like, recognizing like, whoa,
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different, than what any other
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person that I've had communication
with has expressed to me.
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So that would have been like my
first intro, and then my intro just
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kind of kept growing and growing,
and I just kept spending more
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and more time in there.
And then I kept I actually did a
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couple of, I actually did a
couple of courses and every time,
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every time I was in these
courses and I studied a lot of,
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But every time I was in these
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courses, it was like, you're here
to do this different, you're
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here to do this different. And.
Again, that was something that at
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the time, at the time, I really
doubted that. I really doubted it.
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So I needed to have more.
I need like like my ego just
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needed to have more.
I needed to have more proof,
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perhaps. But my ego needed more.
And as I as I continued on,
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I was just like, whoa.
Actually, actually, no.
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Because it's so different.
Every single, every single reading
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that I've done has been dramatically
different than the last. And.
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That's just like a confirmation of
my knowing that's like, oh yeah,
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this gets to be different.
I love that I'm realizing for the
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listener that might be like, wait,
I don't know what Akashic Records are
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that maybe we could define that.
Would you mind. Yeah.
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So for myself defining the Akashic
Records is our souls past,
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present and future experiences. And.
It's really for me, it is a frequency
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vibrational space that I get to.
I get to hang out in that.
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I get to toodle around in that.
I get to ask questions in, that I
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get to receive information from. And.
What I also know is that every
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single human has a connection to
the Akasha.
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You know, so there's also this like
beautiful knowing that anyone at any
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point in time could have the same
not the same experience but a similar
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experience in being in the records.
It's just,
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it's just how we're perceiving it. It's so good. It's so good.
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It's mind blowingly good. Yeah.
And it's going to blow some
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listeners minds if this isn't in
their normal belief system.
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And there's love for that.
So if you're listening and you're
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going wait what. Just hang in there.
Yeah. Hang in there. Buckle up.
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It might get weirder. Who knows?
We'll never know.
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Brendon, you are with me or.
You're with me, so. You know.
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Either way. Either way. Yeah.
Either way. Oh, it's so good.
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00:18:43,380 --> 00:18:49,200. Yeah. Good.
You know what's so interesting.
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And this is just coming like to the
forefront I remember in 2018 2017.
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The end of 2017, it was like.
It was like Christmas.
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It was like cold.
And I remember it feeling like,
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00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:12,050, like like seasonal, you know,
like, you know how Christmas has,
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like, a seasonal vibe and,
I, I had sat down. And.
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I found myself inside the records,
and I was writing and writing
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and writing and writing,
and my pages were flipping,
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and I was writing and writing,
and my pages kept flipping.
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And I sat my book down,
and I didn't go back to it for a
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long time, and it was probably.
It was shortly before Covid,
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that I was called to kind of,
like, start packing my stuff.
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packing my stuff, I came across
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this and I had literally.
Whether you added this out or not,
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I have no idea, but I had literally channeled a,
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like, how to read the records, like, I'm not editing this out.
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Keep going. It's so good. Like this.
Like this 12 week course.
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00:20:19,830 --> 00:20:23,730, and, you know, it's, like,
so funny.
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I don't even know where it's coming
from. This is one of those things.
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I was like. But in that.
I just kept remembering.
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Like, you're here to do this your
way. Like this is like it's your way.
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It's like nobody else's way. And.
I wasn't even going anywhere
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with this, apart from I guess I
just needed to name that.
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I think this is so cool on so
many levels.
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00:20:50,560 --> 00:20:53,590, so first of all,
the the recognition that you're
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led to start packing,
that happened to me this week.
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I was like, oh, I guess I'm moving
because there's there's certain
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things that I always do is I get
ready to pack up a house,
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and the first thing is I sweep
everything into the room.
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Then it goes so that when I start
packing, it's in its right room.
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And I was observing my behavior
going, yeah, well that's interesting.
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So there's a move coming up.
So that was just like, oh,
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of course you mentioned that.
And then, you know, this,
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this channeling thing and
channeling ideas.
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That's how my course yes,
Academy came to me.
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It was it was like I was sitting on
my desk and I thought it was just one
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little tendril of an idea. Right.
So I got out of sticky notepad.
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Well,
I filled that sticky note pad and
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then moved into a notebook with like,
just download after download after
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download about what things needed to
come through in this. And. Yeah.
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Did you ever teach the course? No.
You know, I never taught the course.
252
00:21:58,180 --> 00:22:02,920. I never taught the course.
And, I've often like I've asked
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myself why I never taught the course.
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At the time,
I was running a couple of courses
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already and I was like dripping
that content into the course.
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But this course carries with it
a frequency that.
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When the time is right,
the course will like be put out
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there. And it hasn't.
There hasn't been that
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spaciousness for it yet.
Yeah yeah yeah that's cool.
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It still feels very alive. Yes.
Yes it definitely feels alive
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for sure. For sure yeah.
Just like isn't that interesting.
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Isn't that interesting. Yes.
Be fun to watch and see.
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Oh, hello to the puppies. Right.
Hello to the dogs. Hello to the dogs.
264
00:23:04,940 --> 00:23:13,820! Harley. Yes, hello to the dogs, yeah, but I love that we had
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this conversation, and although we had that
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conversation. Yeah.
It's like so cool. It's so cool.
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There's a part of me that remembers. For for your for your listeners.
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I was a playschool teacher in
top high school for ten years.
269
00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:40,640, so, like, little 3 to 5 year
olds, you know, and I learnt so
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much from them, like, oh, my gosh,
children are our greatest teachers.
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And I, I remember like.
Oh, Maurice, you should probably
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look at doing something different.
You should look at doing
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something different.
And I had seen I'm curious if if
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you had any experience similar
to this prior to Covid.
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I don't even know why we're having
a Covid conversation, but it's
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come up twice now. There were.
I saw, like these sonic waves coming
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across the ocean and just like
hitting the shoreline and, like,
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slowly moving their way inward.
They were coming from like both
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sides.
And at first I was like, wow,
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isn't this interesting?
And then it was like the more
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information that I was receiving I
was like, wow, this feels like a big
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shift in the frequency of the Earth.
Like this is going to affect like
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humans. And, it it was like.
It kept coming and there were
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like seven waves of this,
and I was actually called to
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leave my position at the school, December of 2019, just before the
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school actually closed in March.
Oh my gosh. 2020. That's fascinating.
287
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So sorry. No worries.
So, you know, it's interesting.
288
00:25:32,050 --> 00:25:41,050
So my medical crisis was in August
of 2019 and then in October.
289
00:25:41,290 --> 00:25:45,250. Wait that's not true.
That's not right. So August of 2019.
290
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In December of 2019 I directed
my last Nutcracker.
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There were like 14 or 18 shows that
I had the children's chorus on.
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And I remember the last show.
I was literally so exhausted I
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couldn't reach the TV remote.
I just laid on the couch and I it was
294
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like 3 or 4 hours before I could
get up, and I thought to myself,
295
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I need to stop.
I need to stop, but I don't know
296
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how to get off this hamster wheel.
Like, what job do I quit first?
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How? Who am I going to let down?
Like because I had this still
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complex of I need to do this.
And then when Covid came in March,
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March 13th, I remember vividly
because I was in Spokane, Washington,
300
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at a conference I'd flown in from
Boise to Seattle to Spokane,
301
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and then on the 12th,
everything started to shut down.
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And so I left my ticket and another
choir director and I rented a van,
303
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and we drove from Spokane to
Boise because intuitively, I knew
304
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I could not fly through Seattle.
So we drove back and got to Boise and
305
00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:02,360
my system recognized right then.
This is the turning point. I knew it.
306
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So the next day I went on March 13th
to the driver's license bureau to get
307
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my star card, which is what Americans
need to fly for through security.
308
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So we got our star cards on
March 13th, and the whole world
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shut down the next Monday.
And so there was this part of me
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that was like, you have to move,
get in motion, get everything ready,
311
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get everything ready.
And then I had the intuitive hit
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to quit, but I did not.
I kept going and it it was not
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good for me.
I found a part of myself that
314
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was not my best self. I.
I was complaining and negative
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and really getting to know a part
of myself I'd never seen before.
316
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Not doing something or doing
something that was misaligned for me.
317
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Yeah, yeah. So crazy. Yeah.
So amazing, so amazing.
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So I'm curious about the seven Waves,
because there was definitely a
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perception for me that it was
wave like.
320
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Like it felt watery,
it felt wavy and it felt threatening.
321
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Yeah, yeah, yeah, what I know based off of that was
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that there were seven waves that came
through, like in my, in my area.
323
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So there were like seven,
like seven big waves.
324
00:28:33,810 --> 00:28:45,750, and you know. It the whole time.
Just kept reminding me that
325
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there is so much.
Potency in listening to our
326
00:28:54,880 --> 00:29:04,300
intuitive knowing.
Because not only is it within us it's
327
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all encompassing. It's all around us.
Yeah. So it's just so fascinating.
328
00:29:14,670 --> 00:29:19,680
It's so fascinating to me, you know, you know,
329
00:29:19,680 --> 00:29:23,040
those moments are like, you do
something and then you're like, oh,
330
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:26,880
I kind of knew what the outcome of
that was going to be? Yeah.
331
00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:32,600
And now I have the experience like,
so. Great, right? But it's just so.
332
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:41,060
It's just so fascinating to me. How?
As humans were here with like,
333
00:29:41,060 --> 00:29:46,130
conscience conscious choice.
We're here as sovereign beings.
334
00:29:46,130 --> 00:29:52,880
We're here with agency,
and yet we rob ourselves of that.
335
00:29:53,150 --> 00:29:58,550
Oh my gosh, so much. Yes, yes.
And then to expand on that,
336
00:29:58,550 --> 00:30:03,710
one thing I noticed in myself
was resistance to choosing the
337
00:30:03,710 --> 00:30:08,240
thing that I knew was right.
Yeah, it took me another year to
338
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:12,110
put down my resistance.
And then the minute I did, everything
339
00:30:12,110 --> 00:30:18,560
shifted. Right. Everything shifted.
Yes, yes. And it's like.
340
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:25,730
It's like the conversations that
we get to start having in like a.
341
00:30:26,560 --> 00:30:32,320
Like a, like an energetically
rich place are the conversations
342
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:36,820
around the resistance,
the conversations around like,
343
00:30:36,820 --> 00:30:42,640
what was the peace?
Because when we learn what that part
344
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is for ourselves, that's freedom.
That's when we open up even more.
345
00:30:49,060 --> 00:30:55,000
That's when we return even like
10% more home.
346
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:59,530
Every time we have that conversation
with ourselves around the resistance,
347
00:30:59,530 --> 00:31:03,970
it's not because so often times
we get so caught up in or what I
348
00:31:03,970 --> 00:31:07,660
witness is like,
society gets so caught up in like,
349
00:31:07,660 --> 00:31:11,470
oh, and then this and then this
and then this, and then like,
350
00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:16,540
I don't even know how I got here,
but we're forgetting.
351
00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:22,480
We're forgetting to like,
really be with the juicy pieces,
352
00:31:22,690 --> 00:31:27,190
which are the pieces of like,
these are the like, this is what we
353
00:31:27,190 --> 00:31:32,950
went through to get to that.
And then acknowledging the little
354
00:31:32,950 --> 00:31:38,770
impulses that come through,
I think that that's so huge for me.
355
00:31:38,770 --> 00:31:43,150
Resistance shows up in repeating
impulses that I pushed down.
356
00:31:43,570 --> 00:31:46,960
Yes. Like that's my cue.
Oh, you're in resistance because you
357
00:31:46,960 --> 00:31:49,060
keep having this thought that you
want to do this thing, and you're
358
00:31:49,060 --> 00:31:56,320
not doing that thing right. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Right.
359
00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:00,910
And then it's like,
so from that piece I was like,
360
00:32:00,910 --> 00:32:08,350
oh, okay. Now I'm fully aware.
I'm fully aware that there is
361
00:32:08,350 --> 00:32:13,950
resistance here.
And what else if I'm choosing to
362
00:32:13,950 --> 00:32:21,030
stay in the resistance.
Are we choosing comfort which is
363
00:32:21,030 --> 00:32:24,480
not actually comfort.
It's just familiar over the
364
00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:28,290
expansion. Right.
Because what does the expansion
365
00:32:28,290 --> 00:32:34,440
bring with it. Uncertainty.
Right at the end of the day is
366
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:40,710
it really uncertain because it's
actually what we've envisioned for
367
00:32:40,710 --> 00:32:48,570
ourselves. That is the question.
And for me my personal answer is
368
00:32:48,570 --> 00:32:53,850
the minute I make a choice,
I can feel certainty in my body.
369
00:32:54,500 --> 00:32:57,440
But there's a choice that has to
be made there.
370
00:32:57,560 --> 00:33:01,520
And then the certainty comes.
Without the choice, there's a wobble.
371
00:33:03,240 --> 00:33:08,100
Do you find that for yourself, too, I love that you name it that way.
372
00:33:08,100 --> 00:33:20,090
Brenda. Yeah. I would say yes.
Yes. Yes, I would say yes.
373
00:33:20,090 --> 00:33:25,340
There's like a, in my own,
in my own personal experience
374
00:33:25,340 --> 00:33:27,650
over the last a while,
there's just like this resistance.
375
00:33:27,650 --> 00:33:32,240
And I know the resistance and I know,
like the familiarity of it in my
376
00:33:32,240 --> 00:33:35,150
body.
And I know what it is in terms of,
377
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:40,250, and in regards to.
And I went and I was,
378
00:33:40,250 --> 00:33:44,630
in breathwork yesterday morning
or Sunday morning. What is today?
379
00:33:44,630 --> 00:33:48,350
It doesn't really matter, and I was like, oh wow.
380
00:33:48,860 --> 00:33:56,310
Oh, okay. You just need to know.
You just need to know that like May
381
00:33:56,310 --> 00:34:01,580
1st is like, that's your shift.
Like that's your shift.
382
00:34:01,580 --> 00:34:07,490
Whatever happens in the meantime,
there was just like this knowing of,
383
00:34:07,490 --> 00:34:12,650
okay, like claim that date,
like claim that date.
384
00:34:12,830 --> 00:34:16,370
And for me, in the experience in
which I'm moving through, it was
385
00:34:16,370 --> 00:34:24,350
like, oh, that feels spacious and
that feels like there's so much ease
386
00:34:24,350 --> 00:34:30,020
and there's flow and there's just,
like, so much, deliciousness.
387
00:34:30,020 --> 00:34:34,940
Yeah. And there's choice. Right?
Exactly, exactly.
388
00:34:34,940 --> 00:34:38,300
So I don't need to know the answers.
My human can get caught in, like,
389
00:34:38,300 --> 00:34:42,980
my ego needing to know the answers.
But if I have the day and then it's
390
00:34:42,980 --> 00:34:49,910
just like, oh, yes, I've surrendered
to the resistance that was there
391
00:34:49,910 --> 00:34:58,400
and I chose to be with. Oh, okay.
And in that surrender there's
392
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:03,560
just like space.
Is there space for the how to
393
00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:07,310
figure itself out.
Did you have to learn how to
394
00:35:07,310 --> 00:35:14,140
surrender. Yeah. Me too.
Yeah, it was not natural.
395
00:35:14,290 --> 00:35:20,140
And that is not something I have
mastered. Oh, same.
396
00:35:23,700 --> 00:35:27,480
It's not something I've mastered yet.
It's something that.
397
00:35:28,970 --> 00:35:36,400
I'm learning to love to do.
That's my relationship with it
398
00:35:36,820 --> 00:35:40,420
is I'm.
I'm really enjoying
399
00:35:40,420 --> 00:35:46,120
experimenting and feeling into.
Am I fully surrendering? Yeah.
400
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:50,980
And sometimes I think I am.
And then when I ask myself,
401
00:35:50,980 --> 00:35:55,660
can you surrender more?
There's almost always a next level.
402
00:35:55,690 --> 00:35:59,680
Yeah, yeah, I love that.
You name that.
403
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:05,800
And there's also this part of me that
this is probably like my spiciness,
404
00:36:06,130 --> 00:36:08,620
but there's also this part of me
that's like.
405
00:36:10,420 --> 00:36:19,060
I actually surrendered to knowing
that I get to have this human life.
406
00:36:19,060 --> 00:36:24,070
I get to have this human body.
Like I get to be fully like,
407
00:36:24,070 --> 00:36:27,010
in the juiciness of having a
human experience.
408
00:36:27,010 --> 00:36:35,010
And when I surrendered to that.
That was my opportunity to
409
00:36:35,010 --> 00:36:42,370
really just be in.
Whatever mess comes of that.
410
00:36:42,910 --> 00:36:48,550
So there was such a surrender to
so many other pieces.
411
00:36:48,640 --> 00:36:53,680
When I chose like in that moment
of like seeing the elevator and
412
00:36:53,680 --> 00:37:00,670
like oh whoa. Whoa!
I had been resisting life.
413
00:37:01,410 --> 00:37:05,010
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
And now I'm like,
414
00:37:06,210 --> 00:37:09,930
if I was resisting life.
Look at how much energy that took.
415
00:37:11,040 --> 00:37:14,490
Now that I've, like,
fully just embrace that I'm like
416
00:37:14,490 --> 00:37:21,780
human and have like other cool
things that I can do, like I don't
417
00:37:21,780 --> 00:37:25,320
I don't need to have resistance.
So like when you spoke about,
418
00:37:25,320 --> 00:37:29,100
you know, like when I ask myself if I
can lean in, sometimes I ask myself,
419
00:37:29,100 --> 00:37:36,540
do I even need to lean in like,
like, do I actually desire to
420
00:37:36,540 --> 00:37:39,450
lean into this?
Or is my energy better spent
421
00:37:39,450 --> 00:37:42,600
somewhere else doing something
else that I really enjoy doing?
422
00:37:42,600 --> 00:37:46,620
I love that I'm going to take
that and use it.
423
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:53,190
So my experience is that I was so out
of my body for so much of my life
424
00:37:53,430 --> 00:38:00,690
that being in my body, I noticed that
sometimes I'm like gripping, right?
425
00:38:00,690 --> 00:38:04,290
And so then I have to be like, okay,
I don't have to be. I choose to be.
426
00:38:04,620 --> 00:38:11,940
Can I be in this human body and just
like, relax. Yeah. And surrender.
427
00:38:12,090 --> 00:38:16,350
Can I let go a little bit more?
And I'm playing in that space.
428
00:38:16,830 --> 00:38:23,630
Yeah. Yes. Yes. And. For me.
I'm like, yeah,
429
00:38:23,630 --> 00:38:27,050
it can be in my human body.
And if I don't want to,
430
00:38:27,710 --> 00:38:33,050
there's a whole spaces I can go
if I don't want to right now.
431
00:38:33,050 --> 00:38:37,970
That's right, that's right.
And that was like my invitation.
432
00:38:38,180 --> 00:38:42,470
That was my invitation into
expansion.
433
00:38:44,180 --> 00:38:49,340
Knowing that I could. It's like.
It's like we so often times humans
434
00:38:49,340 --> 00:38:52,760
convince themselves, I've done this.
So many times I convince myself that
435
00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:56,510
it needs to be this way or this way.
Right? It's these two choices.
436
00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:01,010
It's like black or white,
right or wrong.
437
00:39:01,250 --> 00:39:04,880
And what if it's what if it
actually is just like all of it,
438
00:39:04,880 --> 00:39:09,640
and it's just a choice that we
get to make.
439
00:39:10,450 --> 00:39:13,150
Because I can be like really
here in a human experience,
440
00:39:13,150 --> 00:39:17,350
like really having this powerful and
deep conversation with you right now.
441
00:39:17,590 --> 00:39:27,010, and once we're complete,
I can tootle anywhere I want. Yeah.
442
00:39:27,010 --> 00:39:33,090
It's both the astral realm.
That's limitless. Absolutely.
443
00:39:33,090 --> 00:39:36,540
So I didn't need to like,
444
00:39:36,540 --> 00:39:40,500
like there isn't a part of me that.
Needs to be human and like,
445
00:39:40,500 --> 00:39:44,940
dance in 3D. All the time.
And that, to me, was freeing.
446
00:39:45,570 --> 00:39:49,050
Oh, I love that.
Yeah, I don't, I don't I don't
447
00:39:49,050 --> 00:39:58,130
feel like I need to be human.
I want to be. Yes, yes.
448
00:39:58,730 --> 00:40:08,330
I love, love, love it. It's.
It's like so. Powerful.
449
00:40:08,330 --> 00:40:11,510
What it's like. Oh, yes.
Like I get to be,
450
00:40:11,510 --> 00:40:14,840
like in a human experience.
Like I get to feel my hands.
451
00:40:14,900 --> 00:40:18,200
I get to touch my face.
I get to be with other humans.
452
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:24,800
And. Yeah, it's both right.
It's both.
453
00:40:25,310 --> 00:40:30,020
And I always thought it was one
or the other.
454
00:40:30,530 --> 00:40:36,320, so I chose the other because
human was not fun,
455
00:40:36,710 --> 00:40:42,230
so I chose the other. Yeah.
And was so disassociated from,
456
00:40:42,230 --> 00:40:49,800
like, everything. Yep.
That resonates. That resonates.
457
00:40:49,830 --> 00:40:57,330
I'm so glad we had that chat.
I'm like, wow. Me too, me. Too.
458
00:40:57,360 --> 00:41:03,000
You know, I, I had the the
realization I've known this for most
459
00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:08,460
of my life, that I have an old soul.
I didn't know exactly what that meant
460
00:41:08,460 --> 00:41:14,730
when I first started believing it.
And the more I play around and and
461
00:41:14,730 --> 00:41:19,230
lean in to all the things and the
the memories that are actually
462
00:41:19,230 --> 00:41:24,480
memories coursing through my veins
from other lifetimes and other,
463
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:28,980
you know, incarnations,
the more juicy it becomes for me
464
00:41:28,980 --> 00:41:33,780
and the more relaxed I am about
being human, the more relaxed I
465
00:41:33,780 --> 00:41:38,450
am about just experiencing life.
Because. There's just.
466
00:41:38,450 --> 00:41:43,640
There's so much out there.
So much, so much.
467
00:41:44,300 --> 00:41:47,360
So I was just wondering, like,
if somebody is listening to this
468
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,910
and they're like, okay,
this is the first time I've ever
469
00:41:49,910 --> 00:41:53,180
heard a conversation like this,
and they're wondering,
470
00:41:53,360 --> 00:41:59,030
what's the first thing I can do
to come out of my disassociation,
471
00:41:59,030 --> 00:42:03,260
out of my muscling and efforting
through human life?
472
00:42:03,260 --> 00:42:05,300
What would what would be the
first thing that you would
473
00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:09,260
invite them to try.
474
00:42:16,540 --> 00:42:19,180
Not the answer, I thought.
475
00:42:28,790 --> 00:42:34,430
What if there gets to be a
permissioning and a self-forgiveness?
476
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:41,610.
I would really get curious around
477
00:42:41,610 --> 00:42:47,100
that, because what I know to be
true from my own experience is that
478
00:42:47,490 --> 00:42:57,480
it took really honoring my truth.
And embracing all of who I am.
479
00:42:58,230 --> 00:43:06,180
Before I was ever even capable
of having an association.
480
00:43:07,230 --> 00:43:13,020
It came with like really sitting
with my heart and really being
481
00:43:13,020 --> 00:43:24,610
in the space of like. Wow.
I am so sorry that I didn't see you.
482
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:30,940. Like I didn't see me.
Yeah I like me. Didn't see me.
483
00:43:31,180 --> 00:43:37,150
And from that place I feel that
there's like a really big
484
00:43:37,150 --> 00:43:41,500
intuitive guide that happens.
There's like a, there's a
485
00:43:41,500 --> 00:43:48,850
knowing that starts to exist.
There's a like, there's like a moment
486
00:43:48,850 --> 00:43:53,470
maybe you find like a favorite.
Maybe you find like a song that
487
00:43:53,470 --> 00:43:58,120
just lands in your body and can
allow you the spaciousness to be
488
00:43:58,120 --> 00:44:02,860
able to forgive yourself, maybe there's like writing
489
00:44:02,860 --> 00:44:06,850
that you get to do.
Maybe there's voice noting, like you
490
00:44:06,850 --> 00:44:11,710
get to share an actual message with
yourself that you get to listen back.
491
00:44:11,800 --> 00:44:15,400
Maybe there's a meditation that
just aligns for you.
492
00:44:15,400 --> 00:44:19,720
And of course, right now you and I
both know this doing somatic work.
493
00:44:19,720 --> 00:44:24,370
It's like we get to get into our
body with like, breath.
494
00:44:24,370 --> 00:44:27,970
We get to get there with sound,
we get to get there with movement.
495
00:44:28,090 --> 00:44:32,290
And it's when we're really in
the physicalness of our body
496
00:44:32,290 --> 00:44:36,280
that we can really start to.
I'll speak to my own experience that
497
00:44:36,280 --> 00:44:43,690
I could really start to forgive
myself for abandoning my body. Yes.
498
00:44:43,690 --> 00:44:46,570
Oh,
that resonates for me perfectly said.
499
00:44:47,140 --> 00:44:51,520
I had done a lot of healing work,
a lot of healing work.
500
00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:56,140
I was a healer for many years
before I found breathwork and the
501
00:44:56,140 --> 00:44:59,200
journey that I have gone through,
and the layers that I've peeled
502
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:03,250
away through the the breathwork
and the somatic experiencing or
503
00:45:03,250 --> 00:45:07,900
just that people wouldn't believe
me if I tried to explain it,
504
00:45:07,900 --> 00:45:13,210
but they can see it exactly.
And they can feel it.
505
00:45:13,210 --> 00:45:16,660
Yeah, they can feel it. Yeah.
That's it.
506
00:45:17,530 --> 00:45:20,800
Mars, what do you think is
something you either did or
507
00:45:20,800 --> 00:45:28,930
didn't do that ultimately led you
to your yes filled life.
508
00:45:29,350 --> 00:45:36,270
I just got goosebumps.
509
00:45:44,810 --> 00:45:51,740
When I said yes to pause.
It didn't make any sense.
510
00:45:52,970 --> 00:45:57,500
I was in a shitty marriage.
I don't know if I can say that, but
511
00:45:57,500 --> 00:46:03,050
that's where I was. And I said yes.
And there wasn't anything in my body
512
00:46:03,050 --> 00:46:10,430
that could tell me otherwise.
And that was like my,
513
00:46:10,940 --> 00:46:22,640
my this is my future self decision, in 2012 it was a in 2012.
514
00:46:25,010 --> 00:46:31,700
I thought I caught that. Sorry.
In 2012 it was my, my elevator
515
00:46:31,700 --> 00:46:38,720
moment. That's my elevator moment. So good.
516
00:46:39,440 --> 00:46:43,310
You said yes without having to
understand why it was. Yes.
517
00:46:43,310 --> 00:46:48,320
Just understanding that it felt like
a yes. Exactly. Oh it's so. Good.
518
00:46:49,450 --> 00:46:53,290
I have loved this conversation.
It's so juicy.
519
00:46:53,290 --> 00:46:57,770
We've got so many different
directions. That's what happens.
520
00:46:58,340 --> 00:47:02,120
That's what happens when we get
together. Oh my gosh.
521
00:47:02,120 --> 00:47:04,940
Thank you for being here.
Thank you for sharing your heart.
522
00:47:05,690 --> 00:47:08,900. Thank you.
It's such an honor to share
523
00:47:08,900 --> 00:47:12,890
space with you. Thank you. Yeah.
Thank you for doing what you do,
524
00:47:12,890 --> 00:47:19,430
Brenda. Thank you. Oh my gosh.
I appreciate you. Yes.
525
00:47:19,430 --> 00:47:22,160
And you get to have like an amazing
rest of your day and you get to
526
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:28,670
hug someone for 17 seconds. Yes.
All the good. Things. All the.
527
00:47:29,240 --> 00:47:31,430
Thank you. Maurice. Thank you.
