Two weeks and a half weeks ago, I wasn’t feeling very well. I thought maybe I’d pulled a stomach muscle doing some yard work, but I actually ended up being sent from urgent care to the ER where I was admitted. I stayed in the hospital for four days and had major surgery. All is well and my prognosis is excellent, in fact I’ll be healthier now.

While in the hospital and then while recovering at home, I dropped EVERY SINGLE BALL I had in the air. I didn’t blog, go to work, attend auditions I was running, make lesson plans for my substitute, manage my house or yard, help my daughter or parents… all I could do was lay in a hospital bed or my bed at home and keep track of when I should move or take pain medication. I was the one who needed help. My friends and family dropped everything to help me function as a human. They showed up with flowers, books, 7-up, help in my home, offering me rides, sitting with me and talking, bringing me food and more. It was incredible and I’m so grateful!! I felt truly loved.

Every person I talked to asked me to rest, even begging me not to go back to work too soon or do too much at home. I took their advice and have been resting and healing. I’m feeling better now and regaining my strength. But to really heal and rest, I had to leave some of those balls I dropped on the ground.

Even though I dropped every ball and left a bunch on the ground, things are still ok. I had to push some deadlines. I had to ask for help. In many cases, people had to just take over. My colleagues stepped in to help in any way they could help me professionally and many stepped in to help me personally. My friends and family rallied in ways for which I will always be grateful. Watching this all unfold has been instructive and it’s helped me to look at things differently.

Here are some questions I’ve been asking myself the past two weeks and invite you to do the same.

Are the balls you have in the air self imposed?

Can you put some of those balls down?

Can you ask for help?

Can you be more gentle with yourself?

What if you didn’t do so much?

If you added more self care into your life, what would that look like?

One of my Opera Idaho children’s choruses parents very kindly said after I apologized for dropping all the balls, “You may have dropped all the balls, but the ones that really needed you bounced back up.” And she’s right. The things that really need your attention will wait for you.

All my love,

Brenda

XOXO

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