(208) 830-2164 brenda@brendawinkle.com

The ways we deal with disappointment determine our resilience.

We all know what it is like to be disappointed, right? How we handle our emotions during that time have a big impact our resilience. Resilience is simply our ability (or willingness) to get up and try again. Sometimes this is referred to as bouncing back after a set back.

I had a big personal disappointment this week. I’ve talked about the Hay House Writer’s Workshop and how I submitted a proposal to them. I learned this week my book proposal was not selected. I will say, the titles of the book proposals that were chosen look incredible and I can’t wait to read those books!

But I felt deeply disappointed. Even so I believe with absolute conviction that this book needs to get out, so I’m not about to give up.

I put my plan of dealing with disappointment in place and am delighted to tell you, it worked and is working.I’m still disappointed, but I’m not crippled by it. I’m still in motion and on to the next thing.

Here is my sure-fire way to successfully deal with disappointment in a way that fosters resilience.

  1. Give yourself a pre-determined amount of time to really sit with your feelings. Depending on the level of disappointment this time could be a few hours or a few days. Allow your feelings to be whatever they are. Avoid the temptation to talk yourself out of feeling what you feel. Let them exist and breath. But stick to the schedule. Set a timer if you have to. Then on to step 2 which can be used simultaneously with step 1.
  2. Talk about it. Choose carefully who you talk to, making sure they will not only listen with empathy but encourage you to get back up and moving again. Choose people you know belief in you. Let your loved ones in and really share how you are feeling. Allow them wrap their arms around you and be a soft place for you. You can lean on their belief in you while you recover.
  3. Pick yourself up and brush yourself off. This is where, in a ball game, you’d assure your team mates you are ok. Then take steps to make sure you really are ok. Book a massage, eat nourishing foods, get rest, drink lots of water, etc.
  4. Reach up. Listen to inspirational speakers, uplifting music and read inspiring books. Flood your spirit and consciousness with positive messages.
  5. Get moving again. This is often the hardest step but the most important. We can find all kinds of reasons not to take that step. That makes it so important for us to just take it. Even if you aren’t ready. Even if you can think of a million reasons not to get moving again. Just take one step.

And here I am saying to  you… I’m ok. 🙂 I’m back in motion and ready to work on my Plan B. I’ll need your help. But I’ll save that for another post.

I hope this serves you. Please consider sharing or clicking “like” if this post was of service to you.

All my love,

Brenda

 

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