(208) 830-2164 brenda@brendawinkle.com

We talk often about things that bring us joy. The Law of Attraction teaches us that the more we experience joy, the more joy we can bring into our lives. Something I hadn’t thought too much about was the importance of working to protect joy. Let me share something that happened a few weeks ago.

I recently went shopping to find new formalwear for my role as the Opera Idaho children’s choruses director. While shopping, I found an amazing piece of formalwear that I absolutely love. It is just my style. It’s distinctive enough that it makes me really happy but formal enough that it works for the types of events I attend. It was a win!! I felt beautiful in it!

Then…I heard myself saying something that caught me off guard. I said out loud that I was really loving the formalwear and the style, and that (gulp) “even if I lose some weight this is still going to look great on me”.

Seriously!? I had found something that made me look amazing and the first thing that I did was go to a place where I needed to fix or change myself in some way. I had stolen my own joy in that moment. It really made me think. I need a paradigm shift. Perhaps you need one too.

Have you ever found yourself stealing your own joy?

How many times do you find yourself saying unkind things to yourself or sabotaging your own efforts? My guess is…it happens often. It does for many of us.

What would happen if we just stopped trying to change or fix ourselves? Would the world keep spinning if instead of always trying to be a thinner/thicker, better adjusted, happier, wealthier or smarter… We just decided we were OK just the way that we are?  What would happen if instead of trying to fix or better ourselves, we worked to protect joy in our lives?

Three easy ways to protect joy

I invite you to try a paradigm shift. I’m going to do it with you! It’s simple. Instead of fixing or changing ourselves, let’s protect joy. Here are some easy ways.

  • Ask yourself if your current activity is brining joy. When the answer is yes, try to find more things at cultivate that type of joy in your life. If what you’re doing right now is not bringing you joy it is time to look at whether you can do that thing in a different way or dump it all together. Perhaps there is a way to delegate some of the tasks you are not enjoying.
  • Find some ways to make what you are doing more fun. Have chores got you singing the blues? Put on some awesome music and make it a party. Bored with something that happens in your day? Make it a game or a contest. Don’t love your co-workers? Try getting to know just one and really listen to what they say. It’s a lot harder to dislike people if you know where they are coming from and know their stories.
  • Choose to see peace and love. When I am really stressed, I turn to the teachings of the great spiritual teachers of “A Course in Miracles”. I make a conscious statement to myself and to the universe. I say (often silently), “I choose to see peace and love in this”….even if I don’t currently see peace or love. The moment I say this, I experience a shift and I often feel myself softening. I begin to feel a sense of peace and love. I repeat the statement often until my perspective has shifted and I am seeing peace and love in my current situation. It’s not always easy, but it works every single time.

Still can’t find the joy? You may need to look deeper. Perhaps seeking professional counseling would help if you are dealing with depression or are healing from trauma. That is nothing to be ashamed of.

Or….Is it possible that someone else was behind decisions you made? Could it be that you feel somehow trapped? If that’s the case, you may need to look at making some changes in your life and making sure you own your own decisions. That’s a topic for another blog.

Wishing you a blessed holiday season absolutely filled with joy!

All my love,

Brenda

Other posts about joy you might enjoy…

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